I feel like i need to just let things out. Even if nobody cares about me and my life.
First off, I’m not doing great in my classes. I know I can do so much better but I just hate that school and the people annoy me; therefore I don’t care. But I’m dumb, because of my grades I can’t do dance anymore. Major punishment. I’m not trying to be cocky but I know I’m good enough of a dancer to be in the program.. it’s just my laziness. Now I must deal with the consequence.
Second! also because of my grades.. I was given an option to go to birch. I’m not far behind, but it’d still be good for me to go, get caught up AND get ahead. Then go back to A.B senior year and maybe graduate early. The problem is, now I just don’t wanna stay in Fontana. People have driven me to the point where I hate this place.
And the saddest thing is.. those people are my supposed “friends”. I feel like they all give no fucks about me anymore. Like I’m not there, like I’m invisible. To top it off my “best friend”; the girl that I got really close to, the girl that I spent the past two summers with 24/7, the girl I felt like I trusted are totally drifting apart. I’m not stupid, she talks behind my back. All because she doesn’t like the fact that I’m really close to the guy she “loves”. which is also the guy she treated like shit. And all I do is stay quiet, because I feel like everything will be fixed and we’ll be back to our same relationship. I miss that shit. But oh well, I’m used to being left behind and replaced.
At first I wanted to move because of family problems.. but I realized no matter what me and my family argue about, we’ll all be fine within the next hour. Family will always be there. Friends come and go, and when they go all you have left is family. And I think my friends are close to going. So why not move to Indiana if that’s what’s happening..